Have you been on any of these dating sites lately? I know some of you have joined in self defense. It seems everyone you know has someone they want to “fix you up” with, including Aunt Nancy’s cousin’s son-in-law from another mother. Good Lord no thank you, and you’ve never even met the guy!
So you jump on one of the sites, filled with anticipation, and ready to begin. You find out quickly that you need a “Profile” in order to simply scope it out and decide if this place is for you or not.
Off you go to find a camera that makes you look younger and thinner than you are, with thicker hair and fewer wrinkles than you actually have. And you remember your daughter’s IPhone… the one with awesome filtering! You’re going to rock this profile for sure. Your picture is ready to be uploaded and all you have left to do is a self-description.
How many of you get this far and stop…right at the place where fear overrides any excitement you had going. You fret out loud “How can I put myself out there? What if someone I know sees my profile? How do you know who you can trust on here? What if nobody responds?” And before you know it, you’ve closed your computer and called it a day.
In case you haven’t noticed, fear has a way of screwing everything up. We empower fear so much when we project an outcome which we believe in our own head to be true, and then take it as fact… without ever pushing back. We did it here with good old Aunt Nancy’s intended. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance!
So when you find yourself hesitating or stopping short of something that you were just excited about, ask yourself why. Dig a little and be honest. What is it that you are afraid of?
Here’s an enlightening little exercise for you to try. The question is “What are you afraid of?” Now try answering that question without projecting an outcome in your response. Only facts count.
Do you see how many times we take a projection and give it life? Can you see how that feeds the fear? Why on earth would we ever want to relinquish our enthusiasm to fear?
So before you close that computer, recall that YOU were in control when you signed on. Remember how excited you were as you began the process. Grab onto that feeling you had and don’t let go! It’s called hope. And don’t ever forget that hope trumps fear!